'Never Saw It Coming,' Laments Southwest CEO Following Unprecedented Christmas Wish: Kids Nationwide Demand De-Icers
Just a week after Southwest CEO confidently declared last year's Christmas meltdown a thing of the past, the airline faces a new crisis: a nationwide shortage of plane de-icers.
Inspired by Southwest CEO vows last year’s Christmas meltdown ‘will never happen again’ by Leslie Josephs on CNBC.
December 24th, 2023:
Southwest Airlines finds itself at the center of an unprecedented Christmas debacle. Just a week after Southwest CEO confidently declared last year's Christmas meltdown a thing of the past, the airline faces a new crisis: a nationwide shortage of plane de-icers, all thanks to the most unlikely of culprits – children.
It appears that in an unforeseen turn of events, children across the country, inspired by a viral social media trend, have placed plane de-icers at the top of their Christmas wish lists. The trend, dubbed #DeIceDream, has seen kids swapping traditional toy requests for these massive, high-tech machines. "I thought it was a joke at first," shares an amused yet perplexed parent, "but then I saw my 8-year-old's letter to Santa, asking for a 'real-life plane de-icer, like the ones at the airport.'"
The trend's widespread popularity has resulted in an acute shortage of de-icers, with Southwest bearing the brunt of it. The airline, in a proactive move after last year's chaos, had massively overstocked on de-icers, making them the inadvertent go-to source for these newfound Christmas gifts.
Sources close to the North Pole suggest Santa Clause himself may have played a role in the de-icer drama. Rumors abound that Santa, in his unending quest to fulfill children's wishes, struck a clandestine deal with Southwest for their new de-icers. The details of this supposed agreement remain shrouded in mystery, with Southwest's finance department reportedly left scratching their heads, unsure if they've been compensated in cold, hard cash or Christmas magic. "We've checked our accounts, and there's no clear transaction," a bewildered Southwest accountant shared off the record. "But then again, how do you account for a transaction with Santa Clause? Should we be checking for an increase in Christmas spirit or reindeer feed in our assets?"
Southwest's CEO, in a statement released this morning, expressed both bewilderment and regret: "We never saw this coming. Our intent was to be over-prepared for the winter season, not to stock Santa’s sleigh. We’re working tirelessly to investigate this unique situation."
The airline is now scrambling to manage its operations amidst this bizarre shortage. "We're in talks with toy manufacturers to create de-icer replicas," shared a Southwest spokesperson, hoping to appease the young enthusiasts without further disrupting air travel.
Meanwhile, airports nationwide are bracing for impact, with some considering emergency measures such as manual de-icing. "It's going to be an interesting Christmas," says an airport official, a wry smile betraying the seriousness of the situation. "Who knew kids would ditch video games for aviation equipment?"
In a year that's seen things like meme stocks shaping economies, the Great De-Icer Heist of 2023 adds another surreal chapter to the annals of unexpected news. As families gather around the Christmas tree, some might just be marveling at a mini de-icer rather than the usual toys and gadgets.